Hey there, guys. I'm afraid I don't have a normal post for you this week. I've got a few ideas I've been mulling over for topics before I get my beta invite, but due to illness, working at a place that's busy the week before Easter, and a semester reaching climax as I finish up my first of two bachelor's degrees, I haven't been able to churn out anything complete.
I'm not going to leave you hanging, though. I present a...umm...let's call it a "feature." This off-topic article isn't directly about WoW, but should still likely interest a WoW player. It's a piece I wrote a number of months ago called:
Howdy, folks. Now, I’m not qualified to talk about life lessons. I don’t possess a degree in psychology, I haven’t led a long and successful life, and I don’t have a TV show like Dr. Phil. HOWEVER, this is the internet, which means that I’m as qualified as any jibbering idiot to faff about, wave my arms, and tell you how to live your life! Hell, possibly MORE qualified since I’m actually literate.
So. I may not be exactly “knowledgeable” about this kind of stuff. You might even say that I’m “a moron,” or “totally making shit up.” But really, who says the word moron anymore? That’s so 90s. What I DO know, though, is video games. Puzzle games in particular hold a special place in my heart, since they were a bonding mechanism with my father back when I was a kid. When I would play Dr. Mario at my first university, my roommate would tell me that I was “inhuman,” “unnatural,” and “creepy.” Those may or may not be all referencing me with regard to the game; I’m going to assume they are for the sake of my fragile, fragile ego. Because I’m awesome.
If we’re going to talk about puzzle games, I’d be remiss to not acknowledge Tetris. It remains the reigning champion among its brethren, and personifies everything that a puzzle game is supposed to be. It’s easy to learn, hard to master, allows for intense competition, has catchy music, and is so addicting you’ll start up one game only to wake up from a daze next Thursday because your whiny kids decided they’d like to eat sometime this week. Oh, and your boss called. He’s not exactly thrilled.
I myself regularly clear at least up to level 15 in Tetris on the NES when I play, so now we’ve found something I’m qualified to talk about. This is more than a two-dimensional plane of falling blocks, though. Hidden in this simple-but-complex construct of entertainment are life lessons. Ideas to live by. I’m going to show you what I mean, because, as we’ve discussed, this is the internet and I can get away with this sort of thing here. Along the way, you’ll probably learn to be a better Tetris player, too. As they say, write what you know.
1.) Go for the big score.
Consider the following situation.
Now, most people I’ve seen play would place this block as follows, clearing the bottom line.
I, however, would do something a-like-a dis-a.
And, invariably, if someone’s watching me play, they go, “ZOMGWTFBBQ WHY YOU NO CLEAR LINE.” There’s really quite a simple methodology behind this move. We all know that the game speeds up more and more as your level goes up. That level raises by one for every ten lines you clear. There also comes a point where the downward speed of the blocks exceeds how fast you’re able to shift the blocks side-to-side to where you’d like them to be. Logical reasoning, therefore, tells us that there is a finite number of lines you can clear before the game breaks the glass ceiling of your ability. After my move, the game might continue something like this:
And, hey, look what happens next.
This, my friends, is called a Tetris. Clearing four lines at once is the most effective strategy to shoot for, for one easy-to-remember reason. The points you get for a Tetris exceed the sum of four individually cleared lines. So, to make the most of your finite line clears before the game gets completely out of your hands, you want to aim for Tetris after Tetris after Tetris.
How does this tie into your life? If you actually read the label to this section, I do believe I said “go for the big score.” You have a finite number of days on this planet. Don’t waste your time gloating over piddly victories. Set terms for your success. Prepare for the best future you want by building up as solid of a foundation as you can, like I did up there. Leave a space open to be ready for when that one missing x-factor comes into your life. Get yourself some long term goals, and keep them your primary focus. As Billy Joel once sang, “You know that when the truth is told…you can get what you want or you can just get old.” Definitely words to live by. Me? My life goal is to start a business of my own (I won't go into the specifics). Everything else is just keeping the game rolling. THAT is my personal Tetris.
2.) Don’t hold out for the big score.
Okay, all that said, sometimes you just have to meet life halfway. If you find yourself in a situation like this,
you might just have to make some room. Life isn’t always going to hand you what you need, when you need it. If you get stubborn and push that S-block to the side waiting for that long, skinny bastard that never shows up, you might very well end your game right then and there. If you’re willing to take small successes where you can, however, things might go a little something like this:
Sure, it’s only a two-line clear, and, if you consider my finite-line theory of gameplay to be equivalent to a zero-sum game, then yes, you did lower your final score just now. But look at what you’re left with!
You have some room to breathe. Space to maneuver. You can work with this. And when that block you need finally comes around, you’ll be ready. Life operates the same way. You may want to be the next president, but if you have an opportunity to become a senator, should you turn it down? No way, good sir (Or ma’am, though history has shown you’re at a serious disadvantage here)! Achievements that are small relative to your long-term prospects can often be the building blocks you need to get there. At the very least, they keep your game going without punching through the roof of the container. Your life can’t be all Tetrises (Tetris-is? Tetris-ease?). By all means, don’t clear your entire foundation, but keep what you have built up functional in terms of achieving those goals. Keep your future in mind, but don’t forget to make NOW work for you as well. This is your life. You run dis.
3.) Keep your life balanced.
All work and no play makes a proverb appear in The Shining. You don’t want that. That movie was plenty good without you sticking your nose in it. Anyway. Live a little! You’re trying to do great things, but you need balance in your life, just as you do in Tetris. For example, given the following setup,
the majority of people I’ve seen play will do this, for some inexplicable reason:
People always stand those S and Z buggers up on their sides. I’ve yet to figure out why, but it’s a bad plan. Why is it bad? Take a look.
You are now DEPENDENT on getting a long block to keep building your foundation, and we’ve already mentioned how he’s a popular jerk who always shows up to the party fashionably late. Furthermore, in placing that guy over on the left there, that’s one less long piece you can use to get a Tetris. You’ll have to wait until the NEXT one comes along before you can actually start getting some points.
In addition, continuing to play in such a manner will eventually lead you to one of two outcomes. I’ve seen it before; it happens all the time (You’re closing the door, you leave the world behind…you’re digging for gold, you’re throwing away a fortune in feelings but SOMEDAY YOOUUU’LL PAAAYYY! Sorry. I pretty much have to finish those lyrics if I start them). Here are the usual suspects when you start playing like this.
Look at that. It’s terrible. With everything so jagged, there are three out of the possible seven pieces that you have absolutely nothing to do with. That’s 42.86%. Almost half. You’d better hope you get a T-block that you can lay flat. Even worse, though, is
Ugh. Look at that mess! You’re not going to be able to do anything once you start getting into Skyscraper Mode. Sometimes you’ll be lucky and be able to use an L- or J-block. In this particular (and totally feasible) example, the J-blocks are out, as well. That leaves you with two blocks you can use. Five out of seven are worthless! 71.43% of your possible options have become absolute bunk, and you don’t get to pick which of those options comes next. You might very well be BONED.
Let’s examine that first example again, and how I would play it.
There. You see what I did? Lay them flat. Gives you a lot of horizontal surface area to work with. It doesn’t matter what piece comes down next; you’re prepared. You can integrate 100% of the next possible outcomes into what you’ve already built up. That’s how life goes. You don’t know what’s coming next. Maintain balance in your life. Develop a broad skill set. Try new things. Work, play, socialize, record yourself rapping and put it on YouTube, cut coupons, swim with dolphins…do it all. Keeping your life in equilibrium between everything that pulls for your attention is keeping yourself ready for whatever “next block” tomorrow brings, and it will make your game longer and more enjoyable. Do it up right.
4.) Recognize that sometimes, things are just out of your hands.
It’s true. You can do all the best preparation in the world, and sometimes Murphy will rear his ugly, misshapen head and he will just dick with all of your plans without caring at all about how you feel. Let’s examine this in-game, and let’s look at the polar extremes for clarity’s sake. First, imagine if you got all Z-blocks.
Yeah. Sucks, doesn’t it? It doesn’t make any difference how clever you try to be or what you try to change. You’re always going to be clearing single lines, and if you try to break away from the trend you’re probably just going to make holes and wreck your game. This is what we in the business call, “Getting dealt a bad hand.”
Now check THIS out. This right here, folks, is winning the frickin’ lottery. This is a whole party of the coolest guy you know, and the coolest guy I know, and the coolest guy he knows, and your favorite aunt, and that dude who gave you a high five for no reason, and NONE OF THEM EVEN SHOWED UP FASHIONABLY LATE. This is going to happen to very few people, but again, it’s a situation out of your hands. There is absolutely no skill involved, but everything just goes right, one thing after another. This is what we in the business refer to as, “You suck. Put me in your will and then go headbutt a bullet.”
This is closer to what you’ve probably experienced. It’s mundane and uninteresting. Things aren’t really terrible. You can clear two lines, after all. But admit it. You’d play this for a little bit, score some points, and then you’d probably get bored, try to draw some reproductive organs with the pieces, laugh with your buddies (hehe…”cock blocks”), and put the Madden disc in.
Real life is going to fluctuate some. You’ll probably never experience any of the extremes, but you’ll almost certainly shift around the spectrum in between them. Even if you DO hit a radical point, you probably won’t stay there for long. Point is, don’t put the weight of the world on your shoulders. Sometimes things are going bad, and it has nothing to do with you. When it rains, it pours. Misery loves company. A penny saved is a…never mind. POINT IS point is, keep an eye on the locus of control of what’s going on. It’s internal for how you play your pieces. You can control what you put where. Always remember that it is external for the blocks you get, though. Just because your car exploded, ninjas kidnapped the president (and you’re not a bad enough dude to save him), your parents are hospitalized, AND NOW YOU HAVE THE HICCUPS, it’s not necessarily because you knocked over that anthill yesterday. Though you should probably stop terrorizing the little guys. They work so hard.
5.) Work with what you’ve got.
This ties into points 2 and 4, and actually sometimes breaks rule 3. You may have a near-perfect foundation set up. Then, since it’s 4.) out of your hands (this is me plugging my own article DURING the article…marketing department’s wet dream), you get a piece that’s precisely what you CAN’T use. Consider the following. Maybe the game has forced you into a poor setup, and now this happens.
You see a few options here that seem viable. 1 isn’t terrible. It only leaves you with one square to clear above the hole you’ve created. Still, there are better choices. 2 is superior. It still gives you a hole in the middle of your field, but it also yields some flat areas that 3.) keep things balanced (marketing department’s going to wake up in a good mood tomorrow). Option 3 helps resolve issues the other two present.
Admittedly, it still creates a hole. At this point, though, that’s a foregone conclusion. Doing things in this manner keeps that hole on the bottom. Now you can just pretend that that bottom line doesn’t exist. Play your game the way you would, imagining that the bottom of the container starts at the area you can actually manipulate. Keep going ahead and play smart, and I personally guarantee that you’ll get an opportunity to tie up that loose end. Again, same goes for life. Sometimes things don’t go the way you’d like. Do the best you can, though. I have faith in you. You can make it work. Maybe you’ll have to put some “holes” in your plans, and work away from what you’d like to do. Make sure you choose the route that keeps the hole manageable, and doesn’t put holes in the wings of your dreams. Make that hole your bitch. Keep going ahead and play smart, and I personally guarantee that you’ll get an opportunity to tie up that loose end.
6.) Never give up.
For the sake of argument, let’s say things get ugly. Really ugly. Like your mom (OOOHHHHHH BURN).
This is not a good place to find yourself. It may or may not be your fault. Maybe you made some dumb moves without thinking ahead, or maybe your house burned down from a lightning strike. Or maybe both. Maybe your house burned down from a lightning strike and you had your life savings inside in cash. It doesn’t matter. The game’s still playing. You don’t know what’s going to happen next. Take a look!
Awww snap!
See, just because you think you’re at the end of your rope, it doesn’t mean it’s all over. Things could turn around any second…you’d hate to miss your chance because you gave up just an inch too soon, wouldn’t you? The world is going to keep turning, whether or not you’re on board for that. You might as well keep yourself on your feet for when life asks you to dance. Or whatever. Something like that. This metaphor got goofy. Just go with it. Keep on truckin’, because you never know when the situation’s going to change.
7.) Seriously. NEVER give up.
Okay. So. You got a game over, and now you’re pissed at me because I swore you could tie up your loose ends and I got you all excited about how things could change any minute and your game would be restored to its former glory. Just put the gun down, and take a look at the screen.
See that? Right there at the bottom? …no? Ugh, bloody Game Boy has a screen the color of overcooked cabbage. Turn it. AWAY from the glare. See it now?
PLEASE TRY AGAIN <3
You know what happens when you press Start? The ball gets rolling again. Life may not turn out like you planned. That’s irrelevant. I’m an economics guy, and my business background would lead me to call everything you’ve done up until now a “sunk cost.” It has no business interfering with current decision-making procedures. Sure, everything went bad…WHEREVER you are, every second is a fresh start, just with a different hand! You’ve gone through about a bazillion fresh starts since you’ve been reading this article (and might I say that you made some good choices for getting off on the right foot by continuing to read).
And look. Once things get to their absolute rock-bottom worst, the game lets you know that it hearts you. Or less-than-threes you, depending on how things are formatted. Your own life, your mortality, will never turn its back on you. It will always do its best to keep your heart pumping and your brain thinking, even if everything outside is working against you, and even if things inside your very own body betray you. It’s how you’re built. You have the building blocks (ha, “blocks”, see what I did there?) to make yourself better, from THIS point in time.
You can always improve. Keep working on it. You can get a game over. Press start and continue. The batteries might die. Get some new ones. Batteries might no longer exist. Someone’ll come up with an alternative energy source. Armageddon might happen. Pool your money and build a spaceship. The universe might undergo heat death…well, you’re kinda screwed then. But anything short of that, you can work with!
As I’ve been saying for years, “You are the main character of your own story. Make it a story worth reading.” Also, “The day you stop fighting is the day all of your fighting has been for a lost cause.” It’s never too late to keep playing, and it’s always too soon to be that douchebag who gets frustrated and holds down until he loses. You can do it.
- Stonepalm -
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